I know it has been almost a month since my last post, which was about my life-long weight problem. I apologize for not writing anything since. I intend to write at least one post a week, and hopefully two per week. I’d like to do one post a week that will include an update on my weight journey, as well as other things that may be going on in my life currently. The second post will be something from my past as I try to write down memories and events that have shaped me into who I am today.
Now, I realize that God, through Holy Spirit, is constantly working in my life, molding me and shaping me into the man of God that I strive to be, but I also acknowledge that my past actions and decisions – which were often not the best possible actions or decisions – have had consequences and have often changed the course that my life could have, or even should have, taken. So the memories that I write down will reflect the good, the bad, and the downright ugly.
With that being my plan, here is a brief update since that last post.
I’ve been in somewhat of a rut. I don’t know if I’ve lost any weight, because I haven’t been on a scale. I don’t get on the scale very often because I have found that when I am trying to lose weight, the scale numbers can bounce around, a lot. And if I happen to weigh-in on a morning that my numbers are up, I get very discouraged. When I get discouraged, I eat, even though I know that is the last thing I should do. And then when I eat, I get depressed, which leads to eating, which leads to…
Well, I’m sure if you have walked this journey at all, you know how that vicious circle goes.
My walking has not been as consistent as I would like. My chronically bad back has prevented me from walking a few times, and I have let it prevent me from walking a few more times. Rain downpours kept me inside a few days. And more than a few days I just didn’t walk. But, I have also gotten some very good walks in during the last month, and the last few days I have been consistent, so I’m hoping that I’m back on a good track.
Two weeks ago I actually walked a mile, and that was a pretty big accomplishment for me. Unfortunately, the next few days after that were days that I was legitimately unable to walk, so I haven’t gotten back to that mile mark since then, although the walk that I just completed came pretty close. If I could have made it up the last bit of a hill I would have made it, but I know when my back is sending me a message, so I knew I needed to turn around and head back home. Maybe tomorrow…
This wasn’t much of an update, but several folks have asked me how it has been going, so there it is. I wanted to get this update out this evening. It’s not been great, but it also has not been terrible. I have been struggling mightily with depression, and I’m not quite ready to go into that just yet. I will write about that battle soon, but when I do write about it, I want to have a few days to get my thoughts written the way I want them.
If you want to be notified every time I do make an update or publish a new story here, look right below this story and you will see a place where you can enter your name and email address so that any day that I hit the publish button, you will receive an email that evening to let you know about it. That is the only thing your email address will be used for and you will never receive more than one email a day.
Grace and peace, y’all…
Things That I Write About
But my number one goal, my mission in life, is to glorify God in everything that I do and all that I am. As 1 Corinthians 10:31 states, “So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” That’s it. That is my mission. God has assigned that mission to me (and to all followers of Jesus) and I have chosen to accept that mission.
But because I want to glorify God, and to honor Him with everything I do, I invite Him to search my heart, my thoughts, every single day. The things I’m anxious about, the times when anxiety or even depression seem to overwhelm me, I want God to see those thoughts so that He can handle them for me.
I have many new friends who probably have never seen this and/or don’t know why my birthday (yesterday, August 17) is always so bittersweet for me. It’s hard to believe it has been 48 years since that fateful morning. I can remember those details so clearly. It really doesn’t seem possible it was that long ago.
Psalms 119: 66-68 I believe in your commands, now teach me good judgment and knowledge. I used to wander off until you disciplined me; but now I closely follow your word. You are good and do only good; teach me your decrees. I was raised in the church. I was dedicated to the service of…